i met this girl, well shes a japanese xchange student living in canada for like 1 yr to study english and at same time she works. she has a work visa.
well we met at the library outside, waiting for it to open. i just started conversation with her. and gave her my info . my email, number and i also got her email too.
after 2nd week we agreed to meet up for coffee, and 2nd date we went out for dinner, and 3rd time today we met and watched a movie. the thing that also i agreed i went wrong was i never made a move too. never kissed, hold her hand, or talk sexual with her. hehe guess i'm shy and yes inexperienced. i could have done it at the movie but there was too many ppl around and we weren;t sitting in the last row. it would also be embarassign if she rejected me kissing her or trying to hold her hand and ppl saw this. or maybe in japanese culture if looked down upon and maybe she call the cops and i get charged for assualt.

the funny thing is while we were walking along the mall , i asked her right. are you married-she said no, and then i asked her if she was single and she said she has a bf in japan. i mean why didn;t she tell me she had a bf before we even went out. i mean do you have to ask every girl you attracted to if they have a bf or are u single. i guess i just assumed she was single since she agreed to go out out with me right.

what i'm wondering right now is, why the heck did she agree to go out with me, if she has a bf. i'm guessing she thought us hanging out was just friends going out and that i could help her with speech talking in english, while i thought it was us 2 going out and possible relationship bf/gf and dating. i mean why would a guy approach a girl at the library and get her number and email just so he can be friends with her, i mean its obvious the guy wants more.

hfow can i prevent this from happening again. when i approach at girl. i want a date and yes gf, but i guess she thought of it as just friends hanging out. do u have to ask every girl out if she has a bf or after a few dates ask her if she wants to be your bf. oh ya how can you make sexual talk too without being seem as a pervert

maybe she's just open-minded?

why does she have to flat out tell you if she is dating?

would you flat out tell a girl you are in a relationship? would be kind of awkward.

maybe she is a slow-minder type of girl - notices things slowly.

there are obvious signs if she also is feeling the same as you and you have to watch for them - dressing up extra pretty, playing with her hair and etc.

the thing i am most worried about is not you but her unfaithfulness. she already has a boyfriend and yet she still spreading her leg around - especially in another country. imagine what she would do to you if you both dated - probably go out with other men right?

LOL poor you.

Well, the fact that she agreed to 3 dates, I would think implies that she's interested, so I don't think you did anything wrong. Like other poster said, I would be worried about her ''unfaithfulness". Attention: REGISTER / LOGIN to view the image!

so she has a bf, who cares? go for it man. I do Attention: REGISTER / LOGIN to view the image!

Maybe, she hasn't fully integrated into the western culture so doesn't act like one. Btw, maybe she likes your appearences but is focused on testing if you can win her heart through your character instead of your looks, because as far as looks are concerned, you passed the exam the moment she gave you her number and stuff, maybe now she wants you to show her your character, you know...

stuff like, "do you only want her for sex?" or "do you make her want you for sex?" etc...

Perhaps it's a case of what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Lots of people feel quite free to have sex while traveling or on holiday. No guts, no glory. You should push your luck.

You're right, Bomber. I agree with you. I'm happy to see you here on DV. [smile]

'Morning, Sweetie!

'Morning to you too, Sweetie! Now there's sunshine in the room! Ah...[smile]

Peace AND Love!

Back at you, Sweetie! Check your PM.

10/4 Over and Out

Girls are not the property of their boyfriends. Unless a girl is married or engaged, personally, I would not assume she is in an exclusive arrangement or has a commitment to another of any sort. A bf is just that - a bf, nothing more necessarily and not a big deal. If its important to you, then the onus is on you to ask. Don't expect people to share the same values as you.

This post has been edited by macchiavelli: Dec 3 2008, 11:00 AM

Hey DD

You shouldn't get hung up on her having a bf. Afterall its a long distance from here to Japan. If you enjoy her company - just fool around. Cheers

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