Vancouver Forum: East Indian Wedding - help needed! - Vancouver Forum

No need to wear a sari ... definately no need.

Hi, I'm an east indian girl who comes from a very traditional indian family.  NO it is not respectful not to wear a sari to the wedding.  I have been to many indian weddings, where caucasion girls wear dresses or pants, it's not a big deal at all.  The only thing that would be disrespectful is if you didn't cover your head at the temple.  It would be better if you brought your own scarf to cover your head with, or else you might be asked to cover it with the bandanna's the temple provides you with.  Hope this helps!

whoops i meant to say it is not disrespectful

Yeah, my boyfriend warned me I had to cover my head - I thought it was my boyfriend's way of telling me he didn't like my haircut...lol.

The temple washes the bandana's every time though right?  I mean, are they gross and that's why I should bring my own?  And if so, will any scarf do or does it need to be an East Indian type of one?

We were also told that you had to change in between the ceremony and reception.  If we're not wearing sari's, do we still need to change?

Anything else I should know?  All I was told was the sari thing, that I had to cover my head and that boys and girls are seated on opposite sides.  Really, someone should write a guide for white people attending weddings of other cultures!!!

You do not have to sit on separate sides if you don't want to. Generally, the majority of men and women do sit on separate sides at the temple but it is not a rule and it is not required. If you want to sit with your boyfriend, it's fine. No one will say anything to you.

Oh and a tip - don't wear a short skirt to the temple. Aside from the fact that it wouldn't be appropriate, it would not be comfortable to sit in! :o)

The temple does wash the bandanas daily. However once people are done, they are tossed back in the bin to reuse until the next day. Up to you whether you want to bring a scarf or not.

You don't have to change for the reception. Most indians do since the time between the wedding and reception is so far apart and people just want to clean up (and dress up again). However if you like your outfit and want to keep it on, it won't be a problem. People really won't offended or care :)

Enjoy!

Thanks everyone!

As you can tell I'm new to this whole thing so I just wanted to make sure I didn't offend anyone.  I know I would be really upset if someone did something disrepectful at my wedding so I don't want to ruin anyone elses!

Thanks again.

Hi, I think its great ur tryiing to get all the info. before u go, u seem like a really nice person.  About the whole changin outfit thing just thought id add in that when u go to the temple u mite want to dress a little conservative then later for the party u can dressup however u want dress pants whatever............also for the reception u mite not want to go too far out wearing a mini skirt or nothin, not sayin u are or would but just in case....only cuz some ppl r still very traditional and showing too much skin can give u bad attention from girls and guys....have fun, drink enjoy u gonna b dancin all nite once u get comfy....u'll proly attract some young rown guys too........lol

I went the an Indian wedding once and just of the heck of it, myself and 2 girlfriends (we were the only white people there) wore a saree. Everyone there thought it was great!! and I felt awesome and SO pretty. Give it a try...borrow one from a friend. The fabrics, the colors...so so wonderful.

No need to wear Sari or Langa Just dont show up in a mini skirt ;) else all is good.

HI EVERYONE. can any one tell me of a really good idea that i can put on each plate at my wedding. like little gifts?

  U definitely DONT HAVE TO wear a sari. U can wear whtever u please, but cuz ur white and if u wear a sari more people will be staring at u in an appreciative manner. White girls look beatiful in saris. (I'm sayin that only cuz its uncommon to see em in one). but everytime i see a white girl in a sari, its refreshing!
Sari is one of the sexiest dresses a woman cud wear. so borrow one.

Of course it will be EXTREMELY  DISRESPECTFUL. How would your parents and relatives feel if I went to your wedding wearing a traditional Hindu loin cloth? If you want your culture to be respected, you respect others' aswell. If you don't you'll be just another one of those White supremacist fascists.

My advice is that go and find some Hindu friends and ask for their help.
They will help you to attend this holy occasion in a way that is decent and not offensive. If you can't then do not go there at all.

Now make your decision by yourself.

Just enjoy the occassion.............

It is fine to wear formal dress that is not a sari.

Don't wear mini skirt or non main stream formal like punk, gothic style. Nothing wrong with them, it is just that those might be perceived as non formal. I have seen many East Indian girls wear saris with high cut fit (the top is sari, but just like bra), they are georgeous, almost like belly dancer attire (but with the sari 'cape'), but I saw them at University/College party not at the wedding).

Any other formal cultural dress (cheongsam, tartan/kilt or formal cowboy attire or some Italian cultural stuff, batik, korean might be okay), the rule of thumb is: to be polite, not to upstage the bride and groom and the party by wearing something really flashy (some cultural stuff are very flashy, so choose subtle colour).

orca you stupid moron . Why dont you check when it was posted . I cant stand ppl tht reply to old posts. YOu must be east indian . Slow as hell .

Hi, I'm hoping someone can help me out with this...

My boyfriend's friend is getting married next month in a traditional East Indian wedding.  Along with us (who are white like a ghost) a couple that we're good friends with (who are Italian) will be coming.

The large majority of people there will be East Indian - I know some of the groom's friends are of different races but I don't think any of them have girlfriends.  So that leaves just me and my friend as the only two white girls there that I know of.  We were going to wear normal wedding clothes - it hadn't even occurred to us to wear anything else.  But then we were told by other people that it would be rude of us not to wear a Saree.  Along with the fact that neither of us own one (and we're both broke) we would both feel really uncomfortable wearing one.

If you're East Indian, what do you think?  Would you feel disrespected if we didn't wear a saree?  I mean, I understand if we were East Indian and didn't wear one then it would look bad.  But it's glaringly obvious that we're not.

Any help you can give to two lost white girls would help!!!

first of all no it wouldnt be rude. However you will be verry uncomfortable being the only people not wearing a sari. Im a white girl marrying a brown guy. If you go to main street in van, you can find some cheap saris. Or Go to Surry Value Villae there are a ton there. Brown girls DO NOT wear the same sari twice. EI weddings are like fashion shows trust me. You can get a cheap one and go to an ei store and for like 10 bucks you can ge them to wrap the saris for you ( help you put them on). Trust me youll be fine, ei weddings are always open bar, so just drink your face off and youll forget about what ur wearing

You're probably gonna look more stupid if you DO wear a saree.....considering the fact that only about 1% of the women there will be wearing one.......bearing in mind that sarees are the national dress of people from south and central India, whereas the wedding you're going to consists of people 1000 miles to the north....where a salwar kameez (tunic and pants) costume is the norm.
Also....during the ceremony, if its a sikh wedding.....you absolutely, positively do not need to sit away from your boyfriend. Culturaly, Punjabis have a backward islamified view about a womans place...i.e sitting away from men. But religiously speaking sikhism totaly rejects such differences between men and women. The religious, baptised sikh women would never sit in a seperate womens section. Thats the funny thing about modern day sikhs ; The ones that are not very religious and don't know much about sikhism...are actualy much more backward thinking than the orthodox baptised sikhs.....bearing in mind that sikhism is the only major religion in the world that has had women priests etc for the last 300 years. For other religions, including christianity, its still a divisive issue today.

As for the wedding....you're gonna have a great time. Punjabi weddings are all about fun....drinking, eating and dancing. Enjoy.

Katya, on Aug 23 2006, 02:38 AM, said:

They will get really drunk on RYE and then start a brawl. Dont wear anything nice as it will get torn in the melee

happs every damn time

Hi,

I know this is an old topic but i think its still very relevant even today. I am an east indian girl and a lot of my friends got married whre they had a lot of non east indian guest. People wear what they are comfortable with and at East indian weddings it has become normal for many many years that they wear traditional dress wear for such events and gatherings. As a non east indian it is never considered bad to be not wearing East indian wear if you are not East indian yourself so enjoy the event.

On the subject of weddings, my friend got married a few months ago and got a make up artist by the name of Racquel Lacson to do her make up. After having heard that this woman had done a lot of weddings she booked her. Anyhow on the big day she was sent one of her co-workers to do the make up. She didnt do a good job and ruined my freinds wedding. We tried to fix my friends hair and makeup to help her look better as it had been done quite badly. My friend was really upset over it and feels that this make up artist ruined her wedding. Since then we have heard from other girls of the same story. Some even say that Racquel herself does the make up but isnt up to it as she doesent care about what the customer wants but is more concerned with the money (she also is one of the most expensicve now too). It seems she thinks that expanding her business by taking on people who can cover multiple bookings will make her rich but dosent understand that she is really doing her reputation bad. Why do makup artist get like that after a short time of being in the job. I guess the saying of trying to reach the sky and falling even quicker comes to mind here. Has anyone else experienced this with Racquel lacson. Please share your views and if you know any other make up artists who are really passionate about what they do (and are good) please tell as my friend is looking around as she will be having an engagement soon.

Thankx