Vancouver Forum: absolutely lost - Vancouver Forum

Hello there

I really need some advice...

So I am 19 years old female. I have recently been very lost career wise right now. I was doing engineering at a prestigious school, but i really didn't like it, the learning style wasn't suited for me and I had to work extra harder than everyone else to keep up, and i did, but i still hated it, and i was miserable.
So i got out after first year and it was a real dissappointment. Now i have absolutely no idea what i want to do. I am very motivated and hardworking, so I know that whatever I choose, I will be able to pull it off. The only problem is that I need something that will give me fulfillment.

Recently I have been very depressed because the only way I am happy is if i am working towards my goals. Also, I do not think of myself as attractive so I compensate by studying extra hard and I haven't been able to do that so I am suffering from low self esteem. I spend too much time in front of the mirror, and i contemplate and obsess about getting plastic surgery. I know I'm not ugly because I get response from guys when im not depressed but I just feel really ugly, i just dont see what they see. when Im studying, physical appearance becomes somewhat unimportant coz i can say, well if im not pretty than at least im smart...

I'm so stressed out, I can't find a job meanwhile so i feel like im wasting my time and falling behind of everyone. My personality: I need to be productive to have any self worth...

so i feel like im being pulled a hundred different ways. My parents want me to be a doctor and go into anatomy, but I am one of those people who are grossed out by it easily. But I'm afraid that if i go into any other path, it will be too easy and I will not be using my full potential/opportunity and i wont be able to stop feeling guilty about it.

what am i supposed to do. Do i have an abnormal personality? How can I find the right program for me?

Typical of most people your age and older even, what to do with your life. All I can suggest is find something close to what you enjoy and build a career off of it.
If you find something ask some people how they got into it. Maybe with some engineering background you can pick something that can benefit from that, like remodeling, or even contracting.

what do you LIKE to do?
seriously, no matter how dumb you might think something is, there's a career in it somewhere.

^^ That's true.

Sounds like the problem is that you have not tried enough different things to even know what you like to do. This is typically what happens starting from a young age in early High School if you were chanelled into academics vs. arts lets say.

The High School system isn't really designed to help young minds explore varied avenues: sports, science, art, music. Usually a person gets chanelled into one way early on.

So don't be hard on yourself for not knowing what you want to do. You don't know because you don't have enough information. You haven't tried enough different avenues.

So just try some varied things! Volunteer somewhere, take a night school course that's more for fun than for grades etc.

Guest, on 08 February 2010 - 04:31 AM, said:

Good advise and a lot better than I could have put it. I was thinking the same thing about schools, they don't guide kids well into life, parents don't help either usually or know how.

Dark Canuck, on 07 February 2010 - 11:31 PM, said:

I agree... Is there something that does interest you, or something you want to pursue???

Have you had any Career Councelling? Have you talked to anyone for any sort of guidence?

Where would you like to see yourself in say 5 years or even 10 years?

I may be a little one sided with my enthusiasum of the transit industry, but I truely enjoy going to work everyday! I work for what I consider a "decent" company, make good $$$, and great benefits... (I'm a city bus driver- 21 years now)

At age 19, you do have so many options open to you! Choice in schooling, or career paths, or even cities to live in...

I'd suggest talking to someone about your situation... A councellor, mentor, or even your family doctor... You need to "vent" a little, and maybe get another persons perception of your situation...
Maybe take a break from schooling right now... Take a term off??? Maybe grab any old job that comes around and try something completely different for a few months or so... If you w-a-n-t- to work, there are jobs out there... www.bcjobs.ca has literally hundreds of jobs, some paying $, others paying $$$... But just get out and live a little, get outside your box for a while... I recently noticed more than a few opportunities at some of our local casinos, http://gatewaycasinos.com/careers.html was the link... Translink has a Careers page that changes almost daily, with links to a variety of subsidiaries www.translink.ca is the link...

Maybe you need to travel a bit? Do you have friends or family say one or two towns over? Try someplace new for "Spring"?
Might you consider some volunteering either in the field you are considering as a career choice, or something completely different...

It's a little extreme, but some have found guidence after joining the Armed forces or Coast Guard... Career training... Mentoring...

It also sounds like you need to relax abit, have a little 19 year old fun every once in awhile... Go out, enjoy your cities night life abit...

missy333, on 07 February 2010 - 10:10 PM, said:

You're just 19, so don't stress out too much.


If you feel that if you go any other path it'll be too easy and you won't be using your full potential then find your strong paths and choose a path that intertwines with your strong path like Frosty said.


If you're grossed out by anatomy, don't go for it or else, chances are, you'll get arrested for puking into the (liver, lungs, whatever )organs of a patient you are operating on.

missy333, on 07 February 2010 - 10:10 PM, said:

You are young, not meaning this in a condescending way.... if you were in 1st year Engineering you obviously had high grades and are smart. The best advice I've seen here is from Superchecker who wrote:

"At age 19, you do have so many options open to you! Choice in schooling, or career paths, or even cities to live in...

I'd suggest talking to someone about your situation... A councellor, mentor, or even your family doctor... You need to "vent" a little, and maybe get another persons perception of your situation...
Maybe take a break from schooling right now... Take a term off???


I would agree that you need to talk to someone about your situation, maybe take a break and then go back to school in a program that interests you, even if it's the arts..
Whatever program you choose, make sure you finish it this time, even though it may not have a clearly defined career path afterwords, the way Engineering does.

good luck!

got a pic?

Oh, to be 19 again.... LoL don't worry it will get better for you.

become a chef get fat and just let it go.

INSTIGATOR, on 08 February 2010 - 10:24 AM, said:

This is the kind of advice that fills the culinary schools with lazy douchebags with no passion and then it stresses out the real chefs out there.

Anyway, unless you really DO want to be a chef, being a cook will just stress you out even more.

Superchecker, on 08 February 2010 - 04:55 AM, said:

No, don't join the Canadian Forces. It's a *very* unhealthy environment. I highly discourage it, even for successful people in the military. Maybe things will change, but not now. I've been in the CF for 3 years, so I know first hand of the injustice.

Physical exercise is a great way to deal with depression, and I don't mean just grunting away in a sweaty gym.

Days are getting longer-do you live in a place where you can get out and walk for an hour every day?

Cycling is even better and second hands bikes are cheap.

There's some good advice above I hope you're able to absorb some of it.

Bil Barilko, on 08 February 2010 - 10:56 PM, said:

That's good advise also, and may I suggest a good warm bath with some Epsom salts, it's a natural antidepressant.

The Yam, on 08 February 2010 - 10:33 AM, said:

sorry ramsey LOL

Engineering rules!

Yeah, Engineering is time consuming. Most of the time is spend in the labs trying to build a circuits. On top of that, you have to learn how to use the Oscilloscope and how to read it, then learn how to use the voltage supply and DMM. Then learning how to build equipments using CNC and driller and saw. And if you are in high frequency electronics, you have to learn how to use the VNA which is a pain. Lots of learning for getting a letter grade. It is fun though.

Play soccer or go to gym to recharge.

I forgot to mention the programming part and the Laplace and Fourier transforms. Very important^^.

This post has been edited by Pisces: 09 February 2010 - 04:51 PM