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venting as a single parent
Posted by
rachel41 
, 22 July 2009 - 05:22 PM
Boy, it's tough being a single mom. Trust me, no one ever sets out to be one, but stuff happens and you have to do what's best for you and your child(ren). It's a lonely path. I thought I would have someone beside me while I was raising my child, and suddenly it's all on my shoulders. It's a daily struggle. There is no more "me" time. I work, come home, look after child, usually fall asleep well before an adult bedtime. Why? Usually boredom, lack of company. All my family is in Alberta and I was dumb enough to leave that and moved to another province for a man. Boy, I wasn't thinking. Now, it's just me and my child and I never had a chance to make friends so I'm pretty isolated. Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for sympathy. Sometimes it's just good to vent. I know there is no "quick" fix, so if I type I feel better.
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Graham7
28 July 2009 - 11:25 AM
I can tell you it is no bed of roses for single fathers either, not that I think you thought it was. I spent years, as a single father, overseas and in Canada. From 2002 until 2008. My ex-wife spent and still spends only about 10 days a year with the kids and she now lives down in the US near Atlanta. I finally remarried last year, I have for years worked and not applied for the Child Tax Benefit thing and I finally did this summer only to find that according to Canadian legislation a single father is not and cannot be a caregiver to his children. Even though I have full legal custody, the mother doesn't want them which is a tragedy for the kids, the step mother doesn't like them and that is killing our relationship but, my own Government cuts the cheques out in her name simply because as a single father I haven't the right to claim my own children. It is insane, I cannot imagine what would happen if the Government told a woman that, it would be in every news paper and on every TV news station for weeks. It is very frustrating. It may sound like I am some anti-woman moron but the only woman I have any grudge towards is my ex-wife. I do not blame my current wife because like she says, they are not her kids, true enough. I just wish she would spend a little time to get to know them as people, talk to them sometimes...You know? The world is a difficult place, good luck to you. Keep you chin above water love and don't forget to keep on kicking!
Motheroftwo
27 September 2009 - 10:07 PM
To Graham7
I am not sure what your situation is, but Revenue Canada does not discriminate against single parents:
To get the CCTB, you must meet all the following conditions:
you must live with the child, and the child must be under the age of 18;
you must be the person who is primarily responsible for the care and upbringing of the child;
This means you are responsible for such things as supervising the child's daily activities and needs, making sure the child's medical needs are met, and arranging for child care when necessary. If there is a female parent who lives with the child, we usually consider her to be this person. However, it could be the father, a grandparent, or a guardian.
you must be a resident of Canada; and
you or your spouse or common-law partner must be a Canadian citizen, a permanent resident, a protected person, or a temporary resident who has lived in Canada for the previous 18 months.
I am not sure what your situation is, but Revenue Canada does not discriminate against single parents:
To get the CCTB, you must meet all the following conditions:
you must live with the child, and the child must be under the age of 18;
you must be the person who is primarily responsible for the care and upbringing of the child;
This means you are responsible for such things as supervising the child's daily activities and needs, making sure the child's medical needs are met, and arranging for child care when necessary. If there is a female parent who lives with the child, we usually consider her to be this person. However, it could be the father, a grandparent, or a guardian.
you must be a resident of Canada; and
you or your spouse or common-law partner must be a Canadian citizen, a permanent resident, a protected person, or a temporary resident who has lived in Canada for the previous 18 months.
Motheroftwo
27 September 2009 - 10:10 PM
Hey Rachel41
I hear you on the isolated part. If I am not working I am trying to go to school, and in between...well lets just say it gets harder....when I have a chance to actually go out with my kids, and perhaps chat with other neighbours....it is hard as I only seem to see them once a year.....so ya isolation sucks....and its like it never ends....I am not sure where you are at....but I might be able to find some resources in your area that might make some things a little eaiser.
Cheers
Motheroftwo
I hear you on the isolated part. If I am not working I am trying to go to school, and in between...well lets just say it gets harder....when I have a chance to actually go out with my kids, and perhaps chat with other neighbours....it is hard as I only seem to see them once a year.....so ya isolation sucks....and its like it never ends....I am not sure where you are at....but I might be able to find some resources in your area that might make some things a little eaiser.
Cheers
Motheroftwo
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