Dragonforce Concert

In many parts of the world, music is generally regarded as a community experience, and the Western concept of a "rock star" does not exist. To them, it's just another way to communicate, and everybody has the ability to be musical. The Australian aborigines, for example, regard music as a gift granted to them during their nightly visits to the "dreamtime" realm, and upon their return to waking consciousness, relay their musical revelations to the world, not as "Outback rock stars", but as "translators", so to speak, of the great cosmic force that apparently permeates us all. Even Pythagoras, the great mathematician who is most famous for his geometric equations, noted that the nature of reality is based on mathematical equations, and that music, which is based on mathematics, naturally follows suit as the secondary primary essence of reality. Pythagoras was so certain of his perceived theory of the nature of reality that his disciples were sworn to a solemn oath oath of secrecy, punishable by death.

While Pythagoras can be credited for many "great leaps", this notion of universal musicality was definitely not born of his own musings. Many musicologists and historians have noted the importance of music, and its origins based on planetary orbits. We are enveloped in sound, and reality itself is a resounding chorus of patterns, rhythms, pitch, frequencies, and tempo. Without these naturally ocurring phenomena, life as we know it would not exist.

I used to spend hours locked away in my room, shredding and noodling, but there are physical limits: your fingers can only move so fast. So, does this natural ability apply to the guys in Dragonforce? Let me backtrack: At precisely 10:35 PM on Monday, September 21, I am standing slack-jawed, speechless, and sensory-overloaded among the half-capacity crowd at the Commodore Ballroom as the UK-based "extreme power metal" sextet Dragonforce unleashes the "fookin' fury",( to paraphrase Yngwie Malmsteen). Beside me, some dude in an Arctica Sonata (one of the opening bands) t-shirt, featuring a wolf holding a Swedish flag in its mouth, is also standing slack-jawed. Beside him, a living doppelganger of the "comic-book guy" from the Simpsons, is air-guitaring like his life depends on it. He's even air finger-tapping. I could people-watch at this show all night, but my eyes are constantly drawn back to the stage, where each member of the band has their own riser, and are constantly trying to upstage each other. I can only speculate how quantum physicists might begin to evaluate the exact weight and gravitational pull of each member's ego, as each member of the band is a ridiculously overtalented and constantly featured player in every major guitar/bass/keyboard/drummer magazine out there. I don't know where that leaves frontman ZP Theart ( is there an "awesome power-metal singers" magazine out there?), but he seems determined to blow the rest of his bandmates out of the water with his ultra-high octave tales of flying across the universe and being awesome forces of power with steel, fire, and fury.

I've learned that it's not always a great idea to compare one bands' sound to another, so allow me, if you will, to use some movie references to truly describe just what the hell is going on here.

Remember that scene at the end of "Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey", where Keanu Reeves and that other guy show up at the big Battle of the Bands after crawling through hell and defeating Death at Twister and Battleship, only to find out that their evil nemesis from the future is waiting for them, and it turns out they actually SUCK on guitar, so they go back in time for ten years or so, then come back and play that rotten, corny KISS song and end up being the saviors of the world?

It's kinda like that.

Only, instead of coming back with some whack  ballad, they spend their time in the quantum zone, where Keanu Reeves's movie characters become self-aware, and he combines his Ted Logan persona with his Neo persona, and learns how to play guitar in "bullet time" in the Matrix, then they all come back to 2009 and shred the impossible shreddery like no shredder has ever shredded.

Sam Totman and Herman Li flawlessly and effortlessly exchange lead breaks that rival anything Joe Satriani or Yngwie ever accomplished, then, just to rub it in, simultaneously play the exact same speed-burst shred arpeggios and whammy dives at THE EXACT SAME TIME. There is something unnatural going on here.  It even sounds good when Herman licks his guitar (at least twice in every song) with wide-eyed delight, as if it were treated with bacon-flavored FastFret.

Forgive my lack of knowledge of "extreme power metal" bands to use as a benchmark, but I can honestly say I've never seen anything like this before. Midway through "Starfire", I look over to see that Herman and bassist Frederiq Leclercq are actually having a casual chat while Herman seemingly ignores his guitar (he's actually playing the most intense guitar solo you've never heard). Across the stage, his counterpart, Sam Totman, is rolling his eyes and giving them a "thumbs down" sign between demonically fast arpeggiated sweeps. Just another day at the office.

Just as the cacophony begins to overwhelm my senses, 5/6 of the band decide to take a break and let the keyboard player have his moment of glory. Unusual twist for a gang of guitar virtuosos, but ok.....

The lights shift to a sensual dark purple as Vadim Pruzhanov begins his keyboard solo, accompanied by some dub loops and Nine Inch Nails-ish noise. After a few swipes at the theremin, he steps in front of his keyboard and makes his way to the riser at the front of the stage, flourescent pink and green keytar in hand. I was not expecting a keyboard solo at a guitar smorgasbord, but Pruzhanov quickly proves himself every bit the virtuoso as his string-wielding counterparts and breaks into a keytar solo that rivals anything Eddie Van Halen has ever pulled off on keytar....OR guitar.

As he's standing at the front of the stage in a multi-colored flourescent pink/green/yellow shirt, I breathe a sigh of relief. As IF this show could get any more bizarre. We're in the home stretch now!

A moment later, the bearded, viking-like keyboard player from Arctica Sonata comes strolling out, as if to challenge him to a keytar duel. Pruzhanov wordlessly accepts. Much shredding and "BEEP BOOP BEEP"-ing ensues. Ten minutes later, it would seem that the guy in the flourescent pink/yellow/green shirt has won. This time....

Instantly, the other five members of Dragonforce come flying out the sidelines and unleash "Operation Ground and Pound", sending the pit into a frenzy. Some dude who looks like William Zabka (the bad guy from the first Karate Kid movie) comes flying over the barricade and lone security guard, and lands face-first on the corner of the stage. A split second later, he's on his feet, and pogo-ing out of the barricade, singing along, as ZP gives him a thumbs-up that quickly turns to an ultra-metal middle finger. In fact, this guy may just be the very last person in the Commodore to receive this universal hand signal. I've already got mine. I think everybody in the Commodore was singled out by ZP at one point or another, either with a middle finger, or a sensuous rubbing of his leather crotch and that Captain Morgan "come hither" sexuality that he seems to ooze. Two minutes later, "Zabka" guy comes flying over the barricade again, and lands on his head, while a guy at the front of the pit waves his crutches (!!!!!) and cheers him on. Metalheads are insane.

At this point, there's really not much left to say about the band's musicality. They have taken all known metal cliches and liquidized them into a hypersonic fistful of intensity and insanity....and that was just the first 15 seconds of the show. After 90 or so minutes, I'm done. I've seen a lot of shows at the Commodore, and have raved to the world just how awesome the sound is, but Dragonforce's six-man assault, which is even overloading the P.A., is proving to be too much, and I make my way to the door during their last song, ignoring the inevitable encore.

I don't know what I missed, but here's what I heard:

Fury of The Storm
Heroes Of Our Time
Reasons To Live
Disciples of Babylon
Starfire

Keyboard solo

Operation Ground And Pound
Fields of Despair
Where Dragons Rule
Last Journey Home
Valley of The Damned

As I make my way out of the city center towards the burbs, I take a rare turn and leave the stereo off. I cannot handle any more music tonight. I spend the next hour or so enjoying the sound of my wheels, mildly dreading waking up at 5:00 AM to go to my day job, and wishing I'd have spent another 12 hours a day practicing guitar.